When we decided to use donor conception we also decided didn’t want our child to have a dramatic memory of the moment they realised they were donor conceived. We wanted this fact to be as woven into the fabric of their life as the sunrises, blue skies and butterflies. Just one (literally microscopic) part of their origin story.
Every life is made up of stories. Sometimes these stories accurately reflect what happened and other times they reflect how we felt about what happened, stories created by emotions. All of our stories and feelings join together to form our unconscious self. They create a blue print behind the things we do and the things we think.
When we were going on our own personal journey, we talked a lot about how our baby would feel, how we would feel, how this decision would influence our lives. We asked many questions of many people. We spoke to counsellors, families that had adopted or who had donor children, those that were adopted, rainbow families, our family and our close friends. So many different people.
We carefully considered all of those different thoughts and views. We felt the love from so many people as we navigated these difficult decisions. Through this process, one thing stood out that made our final choice so clear to us: One simple truth… When speaking with my husband’s cousin (look for Brown Bear in the pages of ‘Our Village’!) about his own adoption journey he said ‘I can’t remember how I found out, I just always knew’. For me it all clicked right then. It was part of his story, one of his many stories woven into the fabric of his life. It was something that made him who he was but it was not traumatic or particularly memorable and therefore it did not define him. Instantly I knew that that was what I wanted for our child. For our little miracle, Tiger. 🧡🖤
Fast forward almost six years and now we have the two most perfect girls in the world and all we feel is love and gratitude.. My book ‘Our Village’ is my dedication to them and my way of ensuring they will also ‘just always know’. This story will live alongside all the other incredible stories that will make them the brave, courageous, compassionate and kind humans I know that they will be. And I hope it will help other families in this beautiful and supportive community 🍍🍍🍍 in the same way.
Made with love, always. 💛🖤💛🖤